Mother-Daughter Retreat October 30, 2010 - I am thrilled to announce my first Mother-Daughter Retreat this October! Visit the Events page to learn more and register! In the meantime, check out this article for a few tips on spending more time with your middle schooler.

Connecting with your Middle Schooler

Remember middle school? Those happy years when childhood starts to melt away and the promise of being a real teenage sits on the horizon. If you were anything like me, your body grew in places you weren’t ready for and one morning you woke up with your first pimple glaring at you in the mirror. And with the squeezing of that first pustule, you were initiated into the wonderful world of hormonal changes. But it’s more than hanging out at the mall and dealing with parents who are no longer cool. Being in middle school also means rising expectations, both in the areas of academics and personal responsibility. Parents want to spend time with their children; they may want nothing to do with us. And while some distance is certainly necessary – as much for out sanity as anyone else’s – we still want to be the major source of positive influence in the life of our kids. Here are a few ideas for connecting with your middle schooler, especially as the summer months approach.

1. Cook something new together. We all have to eat and food preparation is a skill that often passes through the generations. Maybe it’s time to see if Grandma is willing to share her secret recipe for homemade pesto and make it with your middle schooler. When cooking something new you not only learn the ins and outs of a new dish, but you also make mistakes and problem solve together. Make this a monthly or weekly ritual, take turns picking recipes, and see how your relationship can grow.
2. Start a book club. We hear all the time that one of the best ways to develop a love of reading is to make sure our kids see us reading. If your middle schooler is inclined to engage in literary delights, see what they do with the idea of a book club. Make sure they get to select the book you read and work together to decide who, if anyone, you’d like to invite into your club. You could meet in someone’s home or make it a special night out where you dress up and enjoy a fancy dinner discussing the merits of the latest novel.
3. Plan your next family trip together. Invite your middle schooler to select a location for a trip. Talk to them about options for places to visits, how you’ll get there, what sort of budget you have for the trip, and what you’ll do when you reach your destination. Allow your child to make a few of the major decisions and see how they get excited about doing something special for the family.

Engaging your middle schooler and allowing him or her to express an area of interest is a worthwhile task. Have fun and enjoy your child where they are in their life now! The middle school years won’t last forever, but our nurtured connections will lay the groundwork for a lifetime of happily shared experiences.